In this episode I provide an update on where I’m at.
Hello, and welcome to the show. This is the fifth attempt to record this buckin episode. I am on the road, this is a road trip series, this will be episode 105. Every time I have tried to record this, I've gotten a phone call. So twice yesterday and twice today. So this will be attempt number five. I'm doing this because I wanted to give an update. And it's been a while since I did a road trip series episode. I think this is interesting that I think this is volume five, I'm not sure. I'll find out later when I go to upload. So how am i I'm okay, I wouldn't say I'd say maybe I'm a little better than I was. Thank you to all of you that reached out that wasn't the intent, and certainly wasn't necessary, but it absolutely was appreciated. So thank thank you to those of you that did. So I took a look at all the things in my life and had some really good conversation, Chris Long, and I made some decisions, some decisions still to come. The first of those decisions is I'm going to stop bitching and complaining about the lack of men coming together, I'm going to stop complaining about local groups just not working. Just do an anti says that anytime you complain about something more than three times you're choosing that problem. So instead of continuing to bang my head up against the wall and not expecting a headache, I am going to eliminate my quest for local verbs for to try and make the a of four divorcement just it's not working. Not to say that it might not work in the future. Or if anyone else wants to try something different, you absolutely have my full support. I wish that it did or would but it hasn't. And you know, I I think that it's just really hard to get men to come together to talk about their feelings and what they're going through. That sucks. But that's reality. And I don't like quitting things. But I also have to be mindful of putting my energy to things that aren't helpful to my mental health. And it is frustrating that my efforts have mostly gone with there's been no success, my efforts have been futile. So I'm going to put my efforts elsewhere and not so much else. Whereas just going to continue some of the things that I do love and try and find some efficiencies and ways to do things better and, and, and ask for help. And that's the other big change that has occurred. I got a group of men together and asked them to help me and they every single one of them answered the call and as if you're in the divorce sport for men group, you're aware of this. There are now four new moderators in there in addition to the three that are already in there, and we have all been working diligently to figure out how to divide up the labor and help and provide the support that is needed and to change the culture in that place a little bit as best we can. I have picked men that are like minded and men that see the world in a similar way now not exactly not 100% but very close to how I see things and obviously that's important because it's it's it's my place for lack of a better description. So I'm looking forward to getting that help. There's obviously you know, a learning curve. A comfortability that will that needs to come for these men to varying degrees for all of them. I'm not not saying they collectively aren't comfortable or, or or are what stage they're in. Everyone's a little different. Everyone has a learning curve and, and things just like the technology and how to apply the rules that a ban people how to approve people, and all those kinds of things. And so we're going through some of that now. But I am just very, very grateful for their support and our health and it's time it'd be means the world to me. It it honestly, it recharges me in some ways, you know, made me feel really good about what I'm doing. Because it's not only you know, they're, they're supposed to reach out and they're, they thank me and all that. And that's great. But they have guys helped me by by their efforts and actions. That's that means a lot. So that's, that's two of the changes. One more potential change is going to come with the discord server. And this is the one that I don't have a concrete idea as to what I'm going to do, but at this point, I am leaning towards making the discord for Warriors only. And doing that because much like other things, I really want to make sure I'm focusing in and are focusing. And also, I guess, strengthening my tribe, or I don't want to say condensing because that's not the right. I just want to make sure that I'm surrounding myself with people that are like minded. And I want to make sure that I'm not letting people into my sphere anymore, as best I can, that aren't looking for the same things that I am. And that is to learn and grow and be a better man through this. Use this as an opportunity and not stay bitter and angry or not stay in victim mode, but are really dedicated to working on themselves. And if you're willing to pay $5 a month to be in that discord, then I think that can go a long way towards guaranteeing that you're interested in working on yourself and not just bitching and complaining. Or not just staying in victim mode. You can you can be in victim mode in the beginning, but at some point and yes, it varies for everybody. But at some point you have to get out of why did this happen to me and look at it. Like what, what can I do now? And what is next? And not in a? You know, negative way? Like, oh gosh, what's next? What else is gonna happen? More like a Okay, well, where do I go from here? How can I use this opportunity? Shitty on ask for opportunity, but opportunity to work on myself. So that's kind of where I'm at with everything. I don't know about the discord server 100%. That's why I'm leaning. If you have opinions on the matter, you can certainly reach out. And let me know what you think. It is not a money making venture. But again, another. I don't know if it's a Justin doll handy, saying but he has said it. And I think I'm sure others say it. But people that pay pay attention. So if you're going to pay the $5 a month, then you're going to pay attention to what's going on and be active I would hope in the community and support people that are going through it. And then you then give back. Lastly, I guess I don't know if there's anything else on my mind. But I guess I'll speak to some folks did reach out that were a little upset by that episode. And I'll say two things. One, as I said hit dog hollers. And I think that is very true. And if you thought that I was speaking to you and you're hurt by it, then maybe instead of defending yourself, you could consider what I said instead of being defensive. I understand being defensive and
feeling attacked or being a sensitive person because I am a sensitive person. And it's obviously much more ideal for me to go to the individual and express my feelings. But when you see it In a grand scale, or at least, you know, more than just a few, then it's easier for me perhaps lazier, I think, in some ways in his poor leadership from being honest, I can't, but I can't. At least I don't feel like it's sensible to reach out to each person that I've seen behave in such a manner. And so I express my frustrations on a larger scale. And some of you that aren't that weren't meant for that, because you're doing some work, you're you are active in the community. You got hit with that trap? No. But if you reached out to me, and asked me or commented about, you know, how you were hurt by what I said, or how you were wondering, and if I provided some type of reassurance, I meant that not everybody has the same set of circumstances. Sometimes, not only do we have the divorce or what not to deal with, and then obviously, the children and whatnot, but that also creates some significant challenges. And if we have certain circumstances in our lives, and it creates, those challenges are you are compounded and times and you know, I don't know what the fucking word is. I'm trying to say it's amplified perhaps. And so if I provided you some type of guarantee or not guarantee, but some type of reassurance that it wasn't you that I was speaking about, I meant that I had a few people in my head when I was speaking about this. But I really wasn't attacking any one person. I just see way too many people behaving in the manner in which I described, it, at least is way too many people in my interpretation or my view, and for whatever what for whatever that is worth. The last thing I'll say is, if you found yourself hollering, or felt hit by what I said, and you were unable to for various reasons. And I'm not saying they're not legitimate, just reasons that you can contribute or give back, I have a request. And that is come on the podcast. If you have done very well and you have moved on in life, then you are a success story. And I would love to share your story. Because at the end of the day, I think one of if not the central reason for this podcast, is to give some hope to folks that are going through this. And if you have a success story. Let's tell it because that provides hope. And the more success stories we have, the more hope we can give because everyone's story wild, very, very similar, it also has differences. But your story of success might line up the beginning of your story might line up with the beginning of someone else's story and your end of your story, at least in this context. That is positive and and successful can give hope, with some specificity that can be applied to other fellas, you know what I'm saying? So the more Real Men Real stories that conveys success, the better. And so if you find yourself unable to because of a time crunch or resource crunch in that you have your kids a lot and you can't be active on social media. Whether that be in this group, or whether that'd be in discord or a Facebook group or whatever. They come on the podcast. I think that the more stories the better. So I think that's all I have. I guess I'll wrap up by saying that I am okay and I will be okay. And I appreciate those of you that listen that give feedback and support that do contribute to my my warriors that contribute monthly. I appreciate you i Thank you. If you are interested in becoming a lawyer and becoming a member On the discord, you can hit my hit the podcast website, Rising Phoenix podcast.com. There are links to support the show. If you are interested in being coached by me and going through my program, you can go to rising penis divorce coach.com. I have one slot left at $750. After that it will be increasing. I'm honestly not sure. It's been the team around me has kicked around and suggested the idea of increasing it to $1,600 $100 a week as the program is 16 weeks. I don't know that I'm going to do that. But I may. It is certainly worth it. And for comparison's sake, and if you look and this isn't to knock anyone or anything, but if you look at the Alpha code, the cost of the Alpha code is now $5,000. And I think my program is certainly as good and I think in some ways better no offense to Justin or the opera code. I love Justin and I love everyone associated with the outcome of the coaches and the men that have graduated with me so it's just a comparison. And if you go to rice beans divorce coach.com You can click on testimonials you get two testimonials from gentlemen that have completed recently. So that's all I got. I hope you're all well. If you're not reached out, take care much love
Transcribed by https://otter.ai